Children are the Orgasm of the World

Literature

14.07.2016

Children are the Orgasm of the World

Back in 2012, we held our first-ever event. It was at St Kevins Arcade, overlooking the city. We sat on worn wooden chairs and talked about why we hadn't left Auckland. Tiny Ruins sang, and Hera Lindsay Bird read from a crumpled piece of paper.  

The poem she read that Friday night was Children are the Orgasm of the World. It was unexpected and electric, with the kind of deliciously awkward humour that moms of the future would surely have. We loved it. 

Four years on, Hera's launching her long-anticipated debut collection of poetry, Hera Lindsay Bird, and we're excited to be celebrating the occassion with a video of that first poem we heard (animated by Frances Haszard, who also illustrated our remarkable Mint Chicks oral history vid). 

Children are the Orgasm of the World

This morning on the bus there was a woman carrying a bag with inspirational sayings and positive affirmations which I was reading because I’m a fan of inspirational sayings and positive affirmations. I also like clothing that gives you advice. What’s kinder than the glittered baseball cap of a stranger telling you what to strive for? It’s like living in a world of endless therapists. The inspirational bag of the woman on the bus said a bunch of stuff like ‘live in the moment’ and ‘remember to breathe,’ but it also said ‘children are the orgasm of the world.’ Are children the orgasm of the world like orgasms are the orgasms of sex? Are children the orgasm of anything? Children are the orgasm of the world like hovercraft are the orgasm of the future or silence is the orgasm of the telephone, or shit is the orgasm of the lasagne. You could even say sheep are the orgasm of lonely pastures, which are the orgasm of modern farming practices which are the orgasm of the industrial revolution. And then I thought why not? I like comparing stuff to other stuff too. Like sometimes when we’re having sex and you look like a helicopter in a low budget movie, disappearing behind a cloud to explode. Or an athlete winning a prestigious international sporting tournament at the exact same moment he discovers his wife has just been kidnapped. For the most part, orgasms are the orgasms of the world. Like slam dunking a glass basketball. Or executing a perfect dive into a swimming pool full of oh my god. Or travelling into the past to forgive yourself and creating a time paradox so beautiful it forces all of human history to reboot, stranding you naked on some distant and rocky outcrop, looking up at the sunset from a world so new looking up hasn’t even been invented yet


Written and performed by Hera Lindsay Bird
Animated by Frances Haszard
Edited by Louis Olsen
Sound engineering by Tom Watson and Louis Olsen
Sound design by Louis Olsen
Executive producer Hayden Eastmond-Mein

Presented by The Pantograph Punch
Made with funding from NZ on Air


You can also download our 2014 poetry posters for Ways of Making Love (and Ashleigh Young's The bats) here


Hera Lindsay Bird launches her debut collection, Hera Lindsay Bird
Thursday 14 July 
6pm - Unity Books Wellington

Whakanuia: Pantograph Picks for Verb Festival 2019
Read Time: 8 mins
The Pantograph Punch team brings you our top picks...
Literature
Whakanuia: Pantograph Picks for Verb Festival 2019
By Pantograph Punch
Waiariki: A Poem About Protecting Ancestral Land
Read Time: 9 mins
An extended narrative poem about protecting ancestral...
Literature
Waiariki: A Poem About Protecting Ancestral Land
By Michaela Keeble
Return to Places Unknown
Read Time: 34 mins
A personal essay about tracing family history and...
Literature
Return to Places Unknown
By Janna Tay
Machines for Pleasure: An Interview with Elizabeth Knox
Read Time: 16 mins
​Elizabeth Knox talks with Pip Adam about writing...
Literature
Machines for Pleasure: An Interview with Elizabeth Knox
By Pip Adam
Bodies of Water: A Conversation Between essa may Ranapiri and Eliana Gray
Read Time: 15 mins
Poets essa may ranapiri and Eliana Gray discuss the...
Literature
Bodies of Water: A Conversation Between essa may Ranapiri and Eliana Gray
By essa may ranapiri and Eliana Gray
Hurting in Different Ways: A Review of Life on Volcanoes
Read Time: 5 mins
Five of New Zealand’s best essayists break personal...
Literature
Hurting in Different Ways: A Review of Life on Volcanoes
By Veronica Maughan
In the Under: Being Poor and Dreaming the End of Capitalism
Read Time: 42 mins
Tulia Thompson draws on scenes from literature and...
Literature
In the Under: Being Poor and Dreaming the End of Capitalism
By Tulia Thompson
All The Knowledge We Need to Survive: A Review of ransack
Read Time: 11 mins
Jackson Nieuwland reviews essa may ranapiri’s debut...
Literature
All The Knowledge We Need to Survive: A Review of ransack
By Jackson Nieuwland