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It's general election time in New Zealand, and it is with great shame that I admit I've been bitten by the spirit of the season - ie, making countless other places to dick around online with exceptionally talented partners in crime (especially Hayden East)

Fortunately, just ahead of the big day, we've been able to merge our sudden and convenient love of Paul Goldsmith, the National Party candidate for Epsom and the hippest man alive, with the Pantograph Punch's deep and unabiding love for old books. Yes, you probably haven't read them. Maybe you should stick to your Proust. Ta.

PS: Don't vote for anyone who is a dick on election day.